Every end is a new beginning…

It’s time to say goodbye to the girl who created My Pen, My Voice. Although this was my writing outlet for many years, I am ready to move on. Head over to VanessaGrillone.com to keep up with my new work.

 

If you’re brave enough to say goodbye…

I finally figured out why I’ve changed the format, layout, and logo of this blog so many times in the last year. I finally understand why looking at a blank post fills me with anxiety. I finally understand why this has to be my last blog post on My Pen, My Voice (for real this time).

I have outgrown my blog and the brand I created. 

I started blogging in 2010, as a shy twenty-one-year old searching desperately for her voice. My Pen, My Voice became a place to share my stories, document my life, and hone in on my writing style. As the years went on, my confidence as a writer grew ten-fold and the sentiment behind My Pen, My Voice no longer reigned true. Try as I might, there was no change great enough to turn this blog into something that represented me while still staying true to the brand I created.

Although I am proud of this blog and cherish every person it allowed me to meet and every door it has swung open for me, I feel ready to move on and leave it behind for good. It will remain an active website so that I can always look back, but that is all. My Pen, My Voice is all about the clumsy, crazy, scary things that come with trying to find yourself, trying to become who you are. Now that I am who I am, it is time for us to part ways.

Why now? I am ready to leave this younger version of myself behind and focus on my career. I hope to find more challenging forums and outlets to submit my work to. I hope to write more risky and opinionated pieces that I didn’t feel comfortable writing about on here. I hope to finally sit down and write the novel that’s been in my head for years. No, I will do all these things and more.

Why now? Because sometimes decisions are already made in the subconscious of your heart and it takes a little time for you realize it. This decision involves an intense amount of growth and change. This decision allows me to stop hiding behind my blog and try something new.

So it is time to say goodbye to an old friend and hello to a new adventure; thanks for following along.

Xoxo,

Vanessa 

 

The Bride’s Diary – 10 Months To Go

With Christmas over and a new year beginning, the realization that our wedding is only 10 months away has hit me hard. The to-do list is far from complete and seems to be getting longer.

• Suits, Bridesmaid Dresses, and Flower Girl Outfits
• Honeymoon
• Hotel
• Transportation
• Shower prizes/decor/planning
• Shower invitations
• Wedding invitations
• Shoes
• Cake finalization
• Complete form for DJ
• Alex’s ring
• Marriage Licence
• Ceremony Writing
• Planning the Bachelorette
• Wedding Favours
• Finalize Guest List

Thankfully we’re working with some great vendors and have super supportive and opinionated family members who can make a decision for us when we have no clue what to do LOL! We also know two other couples that are getting married within a few months of us so swapping reviews, ideas, and vendor options has been great!

Lately we’ve been taking a look at cakes and didn’t realize how many kinds of cake there are. Did you know that there are about a million flavours, you can have fondant or buttercream, AND some layers can even be fake? Since our colour scheme is blush and black, I have my heart set on a cake with some kind of blush in it. See below for the Pinterest-vortex-of-options I’ve been sucked into recently. Any suggestions?

Xoxo,

Vanessa  

Conversations for Two [Book Review]

These are pieces of my story. We carve out our world in sections of memory. Some things take root.

I finished reading Conversations for Two by Jacqueline Markowitz almost a week ago and it’s still haunting me (in the best kind of way).  When someone close to you passes there is a period of time where you are flooded with memories you shared with them. A period where you try to understand who they were, what they loved, and what they could have become.

When one woman comes across her brother’s writing twenty-five years after his death, she is transported through fragments of memories that piece together who he really was and what he loved most. As someone who diligently keeps a notebook at arms length, who writes down everything, I was completely enthralled by this concept. What would people learn about me from those notebooks? What kinds of emotions would it evoke?

Conversations for Two is filled with unanswered questions, quaint memories, and heartwarming poems. Written with sincerity and literary tenacity, this novel is reminiscent of Michael Ondaatje’s work. It is a dark, deep, and transcendent read. I warn you that this novel demands your attention. It requires your focus and your heart. It’s the perfect novel for those few days between Christmas and New Year’s when your heart is filled with joy and magic is around every corner.

Xoxo, 

Vanessa 

Disclosure:  I was sent a copy of Conversations for Two in exchange for an honest review.

Everything I Never told You [Book Review]

This weekend I read Everything I Never told You by Celeste Ng and subsequently had my heart broken in a million different pieces. Although my family is the type who says what they feel, I’m fairly certain that we’ve all held on tight to our own thoughts and feelings at least once. I often kept my thoughts to myself, letting emotions build until I couldn’t hold it in anymore.

The Lee family does that over and over again without realizing it. The unravelling of their relationships begins slowly and intensifies as time goes on. Dreams and pressures are transferred from mother and father straight to their children, depositing unrealistic goals and expectations. It is not until Lydia’s body is found that the Lee’s are forced to take a look at the state of their fragile family.

Going back and forth through time, the reader is transported into the mind of each character. Reading their innermost thoughts leaves you with a guilty knot in your stomach, as if you’ve stumbled on pages of their dairy. You find yourself aching to shake them while screaming “SAY SOMETHING, SAY ANYTHING!” But I guess that’s kind of the point…

“Before that she hadn’t realized how fragile happiness was, how if you were careless, you could knock it over and shatter it.”

― Celeste Ng, Everything I Never Told You

Everything I Never told You will delight, sadden, and entertain its readers. It will force them to remember all of those things they wish they said to someone. It begs its reader to not only be true to themselves but to be honest to those that love them.

 

Xoxo,

Vanessa 

Disclosure: I requested this novel from Penguin Random House Canada and was sent a copy in exchange for an honest review.

Gratitude by Oliver Sacks [Book Review]

What I love most about the written word is its ability to transcend time. Books survive their creators, emotions and purpose carrying on regardless of the publishing date. Gratitude by Oliver Sacks contains four essays written in the last few months of his life. Coming to terms with his own death, Sacks recounts  moments filled with love, passion, and work.

It is the fate of every human being to be a unique individual, to find his own path, to live his own life, to die his own death.

Although this short book deserves a long review, it doesn’t need one. This is a book that you should read. When things are going well, this book will bring you back down and put life into perspective. When this are going terribly, it will remind you that good things are on the way. Regardless of the ups or downs you’re facing, gratitude is a necessity; without it moments turn into fleeting memories. Without gratitude my life loses meaning and purpose.

Xoxo,

Vanessa

** Disclosure: I was sent a copy of Gratitude from Penguin Random House Canada in exchange for an honest review.  **

Tea Please [from HealthSnap.ca]

Nothing tastes better than a cup of coffee in the morning, except perhaps a warm cuppa tea at eight in the evening paired with a great book and freshly baked cookies. A few weeks ago, my friend Victoria over at HealthSnap.ca sent over a box full of teas for me to try out.

You can never get a cup of tea large enough or a book long enough to suit me ― C.S. Lewis

HealthSnap is a Canadian online retailer based in Toronto. They sell numerous products in various categories (Baby & Mom, Beauty & Skin Care, Diet & Fitness, Household, Medicine, Personal Care, Sexual Wellness, and Vitamins & Supplements). They have even partnered with several pharmacies for their users to order through them for Home Delivery or Pharmacy Pick Up. Since Victoria sent me the teas directly I haven’t actually purchased from the site. They do have some pretty wonderful reviews, free shipping over $50, and great pricing though so I may give them a try.

The Celestial Tea box came with 5 different teas; Chamomile, Lemon Zinger, Peppermint, Honey Vanilla Chamomile, and Sleepytime. I’ve tried them all and wasn’t a huge fan of the Lemon Linger but the Honey Vanilla is the equivalent to having an evening of solitude in the library of your choice (a.k.a HEAVEN). The Sleepytime tea was earthy and minty and worked like a charm! The best part about this brand of tea: no matter how long I steeped it for, the flavour didn’t become too bold or strong. Each tea stayed true to its mild, relaxing, delicious flavour.

I tried the Refreshing Mint the other day at work and was happy when it didn’t taste as though I was drinking a pack of gum. It is calming yet exhilarating (yes, tea can be that too!) and it woke me up enough to get through the rest of my afternoon.

I have yet to try the Detox teas – I’m waiting for a weekend that I know I’ll be at home (just in case) or the Cold & Cough tea since I don’t have a cold or cough! I’m sure I’ll try them another time and I’ll let you know how they were.

Have you tried HealthSnap? What did you think?

Xoxo,

Vanessa

P.S. I was sent these teas in exchange for an honest review, as per my DISCLOSURE, I only write about products I use and things I like.

Sisterhood of the World Bloggers Awards

The lovely Victoria Stacey of Florals and Teacups nominated me for the Sisterhood of World Bloggers Awards the other day and I’m happy to finally get around to participating. My sincerest thanks to Victoria for the nomination – you are a wonderful human being and a fantastic blogger!

“The Sisterhood of the World Blogger Award is an award that celebrates female bloggers. After being nominated by a fellow blogger, you must thank the person who nominated you and provide a link to their blog, and answer a series of ten questions that the person who nominated you has created. Then you create ten new questions for your nominees to answer and make a list of at least ten nominees (blogs that you enjoy reading).”

1. Describe your blog in one sentence. A memoir in motion.
2. What is the best place you have ever travelled to? I’d have to say that it’s a tie between Vancouver and New York City. Both beautiful and full of life; I felt rejuvenated and inspired from the moment I landed.
3. What is the weirdest food you have ever tried (either abroad or at home)? Is liver weird? I’m not too adventurous when it comes to food.
4. If you won a free trip anywhere in the world, where would you go and with who? Europe. I’ve never been and would love to explore a few places with my fiancé on our honeymoon.
5. If you could only blog about one specific thing for the rest of your life, what would you choose? That’s a tough one; I write about whatever I’m experiencing at a specific moment in time. To write about only one thing wouldn’t be authentic or me.
6. Where do you hope your blog will be in the next year? I always hope that it’ll blow up and be turned into a book. THAT is my hope every single year but realistically, I just hope it’s still around and that people continue reading.
7. Who or what inspired you to blog? One of my best friends inspired me to start this blog. She said that if I wanted my writing to really exist, I’d have to put it online.
8. Why do you continue to blog? It gives me clarity.
9. If you aren’t blogging, what are you doing? Writing in my notebook, spending time with my fiancé and family, reading, or painting my nails.
10. Share your favourite blog post ever (could be your own, or someone you admire!) Most recently: The Crawl by Amanda DiPasquale

I’ll be honest the older I get, the crazier life gets, and the less time I have to follow blogs. I do have a few blogs that I visit whenever I find the time. Here are six female bloggers that I admire.

Victoria Stacey Florals and Teacups (is this allowed?) 

Megan Radisa and Meaghan Onorato The Meg Life

Amanda DiPasquale Not A Model Blog

Karen Viray The Red Bow Blog 

Lindsey Reeder Reeder Reads 

10 Questions: 

1. Describe your blog in 140 characters.
2. How do you hope to inspire other women with your blog?
3. Why did you start blogging?
4. Why do you continue to blog?
5. What is the best meal you’ve ever cooked or eaten?
6. What is your favourite blog post (that you’ve written or that’s been written by someone else)?
7. What is your favourite book?
8. If you could tell your 10-year-old self something, what would it be?
9. Who is your fashion icon and why?
10. Beyonce or Adele?

xoxo,

Vanessa 

Where have all the good books gone?

You may have noticed that book reviews on My Pen, My Voice are virtually non-existant right now. I assure you that this doesn’t mean I won’t write them anymore, nor does it mean that I haven’t been reading. Like all readers, I go through reading lulls from time to time. I either eat a book up or nurse it over a two to three week span. Sometimes I’ll even carry around a book for months and read random passages, short fragments, and chapters whenever the mood strikes me.

That’s the best thing about books though; regardless of how, why, or when, they’re always there for you to open them up. Recently I devoured Room, had my mind blown by Big Magic, laughed through Why Not Me, and nurtured M Train. Each book offered up a different experience that I enjoyed equally, so why haven’t I reviewed them? It’s mostly due to time constraints. The last month or so has been insane and book reviews deserve thought and dedication.

Although each of these books deserve a separate, all I can offer right now is this: read them. Whether it be slowly, quickly, or in fragments; they won’t disappoint.

xoxo,

Vanessa 

love is everything; period

My September held intense moments of laughter followed by streams of tears. I experienced beautifully tender days and evenings painted with fear. There were warm weekends in the country and star-filled nights in the city. There were cuddles with my nieces and sleepovers with my siblings. There was magic, hard work, and a million curiosities.

This September paved the way for sincere reflection and necessary prioritizing. It put everything into perspective and forced me to do things I never thought I’d have to do. To see things I never thought I’d have to see. To prepare for things I never thought I’d have to prepare for. As such, this September I learned an extensive amount:

• There are few constants in life; you can’t even count on regular bowel 
• Life is fragile; even when you’re careful 
• To be brave you must first feel fear 
• Things can change at the drop of a hat; for better or worse
• Moments are meant to be experienced; not Instagrammed 
• You can be both blissfully happy and terribly sad at the same time; embracing both emotions is important
• Love is everything; period 

xoxo,

Vanessa