Every end is a new beginning…

It’s time to say goodbye to the girl who created My Pen, My Voice. Although this was my writing outlet for many years, I am ready to move on. Head over to VanessaGrillone.com to keep up with my new work.

 

The Bride’s Diary – 10 Months To Go

With Christmas over and a new year beginning, the realization that our wedding is only 10 months away has hit me hard. The to-do list is far from complete and seems to be getting longer.

• Suits, Bridesmaid Dresses, and Flower Girl Outfits
• Honeymoon
• Hotel
• Transportation
• Shower prizes/decor/planning
• Shower invitations
• Wedding invitations
• Shoes
• Cake finalization
• Complete form for DJ
• Alex’s ring
• Marriage Licence
• Ceremony Writing
• Planning the Bachelorette
• Wedding Favours
• Finalize Guest List

Thankfully we’re working with some great vendors and have super supportive and opinionated family members who can make a decision for us when we have no clue what to do LOL! We also know two other couples that are getting married within a few months of us so swapping reviews, ideas, and vendor options has been great!

Lately we’ve been taking a look at cakes and didn’t realize how many kinds of cake there are. Did you know that there are about a million flavours, you can have fondant or buttercream, AND some layers can even be fake? Since our colour scheme is blush and black, I have my heart set on a cake with some kind of blush in it. See below for the Pinterest-vortex-of-options I’ve been sucked into recently. Any suggestions?

Xoxo,

Vanessa  

Sisterhood of the World Bloggers Awards

The lovely Victoria Stacey of Florals and Teacups nominated me for the Sisterhood of World Bloggers Awards the other day and I’m happy to finally get around to participating. My sincerest thanks to Victoria for the nomination – you are a wonderful human being and a fantastic blogger!

“The Sisterhood of the World Blogger Award is an award that celebrates female bloggers. After being nominated by a fellow blogger, you must thank the person who nominated you and provide a link to their blog, and answer a series of ten questions that the person who nominated you has created. Then you create ten new questions for your nominees to answer and make a list of at least ten nominees (blogs that you enjoy reading).”

1. Describe your blog in one sentence. A memoir in motion.
2. What is the best place you have ever travelled to? I’d have to say that it’s a tie between Vancouver and New York City. Both beautiful and full of life; I felt rejuvenated and inspired from the moment I landed.
3. What is the weirdest food you have ever tried (either abroad or at home)? Is liver weird? I’m not too adventurous when it comes to food.
4. If you won a free trip anywhere in the world, where would you go and with who? Europe. I’ve never been and would love to explore a few places with my fiancé on our honeymoon.
5. If you could only blog about one specific thing for the rest of your life, what would you choose? That’s a tough one; I write about whatever I’m experiencing at a specific moment in time. To write about only one thing wouldn’t be authentic or me.
6. Where do you hope your blog will be in the next year? I always hope that it’ll blow up and be turned into a book. THAT is my hope every single year but realistically, I just hope it’s still around and that people continue reading.
7. Who or what inspired you to blog? One of my best friends inspired me to start this blog. She said that if I wanted my writing to really exist, I’d have to put it online.
8. Why do you continue to blog? It gives me clarity.
9. If you aren’t blogging, what are you doing? Writing in my notebook, spending time with my fiancé and family, reading, or painting my nails.
10. Share your favourite blog post ever (could be your own, or someone you admire!) Most recently: The Crawl by Amanda DiPasquale

I’ll be honest the older I get, the crazier life gets, and the less time I have to follow blogs. I do have a few blogs that I visit whenever I find the time. Here are six female bloggers that I admire.

Victoria Stacey Florals and Teacups (is this allowed?) 

Megan Radisa and Meaghan Onorato The Meg Life

Amanda DiPasquale Not A Model Blog

Karen Viray The Red Bow Blog 

Lindsey Reeder Reeder Reads 

10 Questions: 

1. Describe your blog in 140 characters.
2. How do you hope to inspire other women with your blog?
3. Why did you start blogging?
4. Why do you continue to blog?
5. What is the best meal you’ve ever cooked or eaten?
6. What is your favourite blog post (that you’ve written or that’s been written by someone else)?
7. What is your favourite book?
8. If you could tell your 10-year-old self something, what would it be?
9. Who is your fashion icon and why?
10. Beyonce or Adele?

xoxo,

Vanessa 

love is everything; period

My September held intense moments of laughter followed by streams of tears. I experienced beautifully tender days and evenings painted with fear. There were warm weekends in the country and star-filled nights in the city. There were cuddles with my nieces and sleepovers with my siblings. There was magic, hard work, and a million curiosities.

This September paved the way for sincere reflection and necessary prioritizing. It put everything into perspective and forced me to do things I never thought I’d have to do. To see things I never thought I’d have to see. To prepare for things I never thought I’d have to prepare for. As such, this September I learned an extensive amount:

• There are few constants in life; you can’t even count on regular bowel 
• Life is fragile; even when you’re careful 
• To be brave you must first feel fear 
• Things can change at the drop of a hat; for better or worse
• Moments are meant to be experienced; not Instagrammed 
• You can be both blissfully happy and terribly sad at the same time; embracing both emotions is important
• Love is everything; period 

xoxo,

Vanessa 

Falling into a New Season

“Aprils have never meant much to me, autumns seem that season of beginning, spring.” ― Truman Capote, Breakfast at Tiffany’s

I love the stillness that comes with Fall. I love the silence. I love the idea that hibernation is in the forecast. After a crazy-busy-beautiful summer I am ready for a change of pace. I am yearning for cooler weather, warm sweaters, dark nail polish, and pumpkin-spiced everything. Call me crazy but Fall is my favourite season. It has potential, it radiates happiness with modest charm, and although I’m officially not in school anymore, it still has that air of change, growth, and excitement.

I’m looking forward to a Fall filled with new adventures, exploring different styles, and creating new goals. I’m looking forward to Thanksgiving, long drives surrounded by trees with leaves ignited by colour. I’m looking forward to cool evenings with my laptop on my lap, words floating around in my mind, and a hot cuppa tea nearby.

I’m looking forward to it all.

xoxo,

Vanessa 

Revival

I know I’m not the only writer who forgets why they put a pen to paper or tap letters on their keyboard. I can’t possibly be the only writer who forgets to get excited by the satisfaction of clicking the post to blog button. I can’t be the only one who goes through moments so tender and fragile that sharing them seems offensive to the beauty that is the privacy of one’s life.

It seems as though “I have a lot going on right now” doesn’t seem to encompass everything that is happening. There are so many precious moments that I’ve captured in the pages of my journal in hopes that they’ll appear real; sometimes the internet feels too much like  fiction.

My Pen, My Voice goes on hiatus from time to time but always comes back with something new of offer. It comes back REVIVED. Sometimes it’s a new layout, other times it’s a new series, this time it’s a new logo, a new layout, AND a new sense of self. As intense as this year has been I can’t help but feel grateful for it. So many changes and challenges have torn me apart with the complex task of allowing me to find out who I really am. My twenties (so far) have been the most confusing and promising. Finally at twenty-six I understand and accept all that I am and what I have to offer.

I hope this newfound confidence and killer new logo will allow me to explore different kinds of writing while staying true to my voice.

Welcome to the new chapter of My Pen, My Voice.

Love Always,

Vanessa Xo

P.S. Thank you to Victoria Stacey for the amazing new logo and for understanding EXACTLY what I was going for!

The Bride’s Diary – Getting Married on A Friday

People who get married on major holidays, Fridays, or Sundays are the freaking worst! Or at least they were until I became one of them. Here’s the thing, in order to book a Saturday night at the hall we fell in love with, w need a minimum of 200 confirmed guests. You already know that our guest list is at a firm 150 people so a Friday or Sunday would be our only options. We chose a Friday that way our guests would at least have the Saturday off to recuperate.

The only issues I have with not getting married on a Saturday is the obvious fact that not everyone we invite will be able to make it. First of all, people WORK and I would never expect anyone to take the day off. Secondly even if they decided to come to dinner (which will begin promptly at 6:30) and skip the ceremony, it might be one heck of a hassle to try to make it on time. I know that I want an intimate wedding but with such a tight guest list I am still hoping that many of them will be able to celebrate our day.

In the end,  we knew that getting married on a Friday wouldn’t be convenient for many people but for us, it works. If you’re planning your wedding and for financial/emotional/logistical reasons you decide to wed on an “unconventional” day, be prepared for a lot of eye-rolling, questions, comments, or RSVP’s with the unable to attend box checked off.

Love Always,

Vanessa Xo

The Bride’s Diary – The Guest List

I’ve dreaded the guest list from the moment I said yes. I never fantasized much about my wedding but I was always under the impression that I wanted a very intimate wedding (let’s say 50 or so people). The only major problem with that is not that I’m European and as such a big wedding is expected, it is that I have a huge family. My mother’s side is fifty-three people and that’s just immediate family; aunts. uncles, and cousins.

With my intimate wedding idea out the window, Alex and I had to pick a number that would work for us both financially and mentally (he wants a small wedding too). 50 people is far too little, 100 people isn’t quite enough, and 200 is more than we could imagine. 150. That would have to be the magic number.

Thankfully our parents are supportive of this and understand why we don’t feel the need to have a huge wedding. We want to be able to enjoy our wedding and to know the person behind every hand that we shake and every cheek that we kiss.

The trouble with any guest list is that there are always people who are going to be left out or offended. Alex and I had one golden rule for the guest list: do not invite anyone we don’t see at least once a year. This means that only family and the closest friends we have are going to be invited. As of right now we have 149 people on the list and we’re pretty happy about it. We refuse to budge on the number and although the names on the list might change slightly, the number will not. Who wants strangers at their wedding anyway? I don’t.

If there’s one thing I recommend when writing up your guest list, do it with your fiancé and then have your parents put in their opinion. At the end of the day it is your wedding.

Love Always,

Vanessa Xo

changes: both subtle and honest

Last weekend the fiancé and I drove up to his aunt’s cottage in Lindsay. As he searched for old music to sing along with (think Ja Rule featuring J.Lo), I put my feet up on the dashboard and exhaled loudly. I had a lot on my mind and a long drive was exactly what I needed. 

Did I tell you that I’ve been working on turning my blog into a books? Well I am. When I look back and read old blog posts my memories fade to black-and-white; showing with subtle honesty how much I’ve changed, how much life has changed. I’ve grown immensely as a writer and a person in the last five years. Many of my relationships have either tarnished or strengthened. I’ve experienced love and pain in many different forms. I’ve failed, tried, and dreamt without limitation. I’ve welcomed change for the most part and when I wasn’t too fond of it, I wrote it out. 

In mere weeks my living arrangements are going to alter slightly, by September I will have another little niece or nephew running around, in year-and-a-half I’ll be married, in two years I’ll be living with my husband in our condo, and who knows what else! So much to document! Here’s to looking bright, bold, and colourful future. Here’s to accepting new challenges with determination and passion. Here’s to growth and change. 

Love Always,

Vanessa Xo

The Bride’s Diary – The Dress

Every girl dreams about is the moment they put on a white gown and are so overcome by emotion (and their own beauty) that they weep incessantly. Every girl except me. I’ve never dreamt about my wedding nor the dress I would wear that day. I’ve never obsessed about it and had no idea what style I even wanted. I also had no idea that I had to look for my dress at least a year in advance. Call me the Clueless Bride I guess.

I made an appointment at Ritche Bridal and brought along my mother, sister, and future mother-in-law to help me decide on a dress. I came prepared with ideas, photos, and a do not ever put me in a dress like this list. As usual we were a little early for the appointment so my sister took the opportunity to pull out a few dresses she thought would look good on me. One of which I wasn’t 100% sure of.

In no time my bridal consultant ushered us into the room with a few questions; budget? style? colour? The first dress I tried on just so happened to be the one that my sister pulled out. It was gorgeous. Simple. Sweet. Classic. Stunning. Even though I didn’t want to get out of it, we put it to the side while I tried on about 6 or 7 more gowns. None of which suited me the way the first dress did. Even the bridal consultant couldn’t get that dress out of her head, so just for fun, I tried it on again. Immediately a smile rose to my lips; this is my dress. For the finishing touch my consultant put a simple veil on my head which lead to an intense crying session starting with me and ending with my mother-in-law. Cue hand waving and mascara running.

“Are you saying yes to the dress?” asked the consultant. 

“YES!” I replied. 

And THAT is how I found the dress, the dress I didn’t want to take off, the dress that I pictured Alex seeing me in when I walked down the aisle, the dress that my parents would “give me away” in, the dress that I would dance the night away in. I’d like to thank Ritche Bridal and especially my consultant Naima, for making dress shopping easy, memorable, and relaxing. Thank you for listening to me, for sticking to the budget, and for really understanding the kind of bride and person I am. I would recommend you to anyone!

Love Always,

Vanessa Xo