I’ve dreaded the guest list from the moment I said yes. I never fantasized much about my wedding but I was always under the impression that I wanted a very intimate wedding (let’s say 50 or so people). The only major problem with that is not that I’m European and as such a big wedding is expected, it is that I have a huge family. My mother’s side is fifty-three people and that’s just immediate family; aunts. uncles, and cousins.
With my intimate wedding idea out the window, Alex and I had to pick a number that would work for us both financially and mentally (he wants a small wedding too). 50 people is far too little, 100 people isn’t quite enough, and 200 is more than we could imagine. 150. That would have to be the magic number.
Thankfully our parents are supportive of this and understand why we don’t feel the need to have a huge wedding. We want to be able to enjoy our wedding and to know the person behind every hand that we shake and every cheek that we kiss.
The trouble with any guest list is that there are always people who are going to be left out or offended. Alex and I had one golden rule for the guest list: do not invite anyone we don’t see at least once a year. This means that only family and the closest friends we have are going to be invited. As of right now we have 149 people on the list and we’re pretty happy about it. We refuse to budge on the number and although the names on the list might change slightly, the number will not. Who wants strangers at their wedding anyway? I don’t.
If there’s one thing I recommend when writing up your guest list, do it with your fiancé and then have your parents put in their opinion. At the end of the day it is your wedding.
Before I got engaged I promised myself that I would never have a bridal party. It is a HUGE honour to be in someone’s bridal party and to have a special status on your cousin’s, sister’s, or friend’s special day but it’s also time-consuming, expensive, and sometimes a pain in the ass for the maids. I’d complained enough times about being in a bridal party that I thought it would be hypocritical if I actually had one. There’s also the whole choosing people to be in your bridal party without offending anyone else.
As with many things I’ve encountered during the wedding-planning process, I had a change of heart and mind. Originally our kind-of-bridal-party consisted of my sister, brother, and two of Alex’s closest cousins, but I have two cousins that I’m especially close with. Cousins that I consider to be more like sisters. The memories we share are countless, the laughter unparalleled, and fights the epitome of epic. I grew up with them and the more I pictured our wedding day, the more I realized how much I needed them by my side.
If you’re an avid reader of this blog, you’ll recognize the faces below. If not, I’d like to introduce you to my lovely little half of the bridal party. From left to right: my sister, me, Sarah, and Ashley. These women are my go-to for support, fun, and gossip and I am so happy that I changed my mind.
When choosing a bridal party I would suggest keeping it small and intimate. Pick people who know you better than anyone else, people you can count on no matter what. Pick women and men that bring out the best part of you, the people who love you for being weirdly awesome. Pick the baddest bitches you know.
We all know the implications of having a wedding in today’s society — it will live on Instagram and various other social media tools. In fact the my fiancé proposed to me as I asked him what do you think our wedding hashtag will be? True story. On the scale of wedding plans, the hashtag is (or should be) very last on the list. After speaking with our Officiant, I’m realizing how necessary it is.
Think about all of the moments your guests are having that you’ll miss; you can’t be everywhere at once. Think about all the photos that you want to take but can’t because you don’t have your phone on you. Think about all the photos taken by your aunts or cousins that you look awful in. Having a hashtag makes it easy to keep track of the photos that are on the internet. It allows you to call up your aunt and ask her nicely to delete that photo you hate (not that I think I’ll do this but still). It allows you to see your wedding from your guests’ point of view.
Personally I’m not a fan of long wedding hashtags. By the time your guests finish typing it out they’ll have missed another Instagram-worthy moment. I found a website that generates a bunch of hashtags for you based on the names of you and your fiancé. WeddingHashtagWall generated loads of hashtags to choose from. We went with something simple #AV2016, although I also like to include #MrsBuch on all of my wedding related posts as well. What’s your favourite wedding hashtag?