But I Never Get Sick…


Last Wednesday I woke up with drums beating in my ears, an avalanche of bricks falling on my head, and something like gravel stuck in my throat. I realized suddenly that I was soaked in my own sweat, my tank top damp, my p.j. pants stuck to my legs, my hair wetter than when I get out of the shower. This is impossible I thought, I never get sick. My brain felt less than functional, my entire body felt sore. Somehow I got out of bed and made myself a coffee. I looked at my phone, 6:45 A.M. and I couldn’t be more nauseous. I decided to go back to bed.

“Money cannot buy health, but I’d settle for a diamond-studded wheelchair.” ― Dorothy Parker

I spent the entire day taking naps and popping Advil in the sincerest hope for some peace and quiet, for the pounding and aching to subside. I don’t know how my head didn’t explode. The next few days got a little better, then a little worse. The trouble was that I couldn’t focus, writing and reading were excruciatingly difficult. Eating hurt my throat more than I thought it would. Searching for jobs online seemed utterly impossible. I didn’t even workout. Anyone who knows me KNOWS that something is really wrong when I can’t get up the energy to workout.

Like most people I take my health for granted. I wake up at the same time every morning, follow the same routines, and get shit done. I eat healthy foods, workout, and always make time to read and write. Being sick for a week completely threw my life upside down, suddenly I couldn’t do the things I wanted or that I am used to. I couldn’t even cuddle with my niece! It all made me a little depressed. The funny thing about being a wallflower or outsider is that we want to be able to choose when we want to be left alone. We don’t want to be told not to go near someone or not to kiss them, we don’t want to have to stay in our room alone so that no one catches what we have. Choosing to be alone feels completely different than being forced to be alone.



It wasn’t all bad though. This SICK-WEEK allowed me to take a step back, to sleep in and rest, to take a breather and put a few things on pause. I like to be busy and I put so much pressure on myself to keep going, so maybe this SICK-WEEK was a blessing in disguise. I feel refreshed, ready to job hunt, ready to write, ready to go out and get it!!


– Vanessa