weekend living/ how others see you…

Bursting the Bubble, Just for Fun, Lifestyle/Personal, Products and Brands

seeyou

The way others see you can sometimes be the complete and total opposite of how you see yourself.

“I was listening to Z1035 and their D.J. reminded me so much of you! Especially the way she tells stories: she’s sarcastic, kind of vulgar, and doesn’t give a crap about what anyone thinks. I swear I picture tour face when she’s talking. Maybe you should think about a career change.” — Cousin Tania I took all of that as a compliment and assumed that she meant it as such. I come off as smart, funny, sarcastic, bitchy, and confident?don’t care what other people think about me? That is certainly not how it feels when I’m inside my own head — there’s nothing but doubts and need to succeed and a desperate attempt to be accepted and approved by all. The fact that someone out there thinks of me as confident is reason enough for me believe that I really don’t give a crap about what people think of me. IMG_0405 IMG_0410 IMG_0427 I’ve been marinating over this since last Thursday, when I saw my cousin Tania, and have taken every opportunity to walk with my head up high, to not talk myself down, and to let loose and not care about the opinions or judgements of others. My bestie and cousin had their engagement party on Saturday and I used it to put that decision to the test. I wore my new (and favourite) party dress from Forever21, the reddest shoes I could find, talked up a storm, smiled, laughed, left my phone inside, and for the first time in a long time, I felt happy and content in my own skin, and with my life decisions.

Remember: You are younger today than you ever will be again. Make the most of it! 

Talk soon,

Vanessa Xo

until i became…Myself.

Fashion & Beauty, Just for Fun, Lifestyle/Personal

Today while I looked at Steven’s (UNTIL I BECAME) previous blog posts, I thought about the event at Minling Pan Studio and pondered over the wonderful clothes that I get to look at and/or try on at Moda L Boutique. Then I thought about my own style and about the clothes that I like to wear. What is my style?

“Fashion is bought, style is what you have.”

Take tonight’s outfit: jeans from Forever 21, shirt stolen from my sister about four years ago, boots from Walmart, and the purse is my dad’s 35-year-old camera bag. My jewelry is minimum and all three were gifts and I purchased the scarf at Forever 21 in Chicago. My outfit is inexpensive but cute and comfortable. More importantly, it’s me.

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I understand how important your appearance can be and what it can tell people about you. I feel as though each day I get a little more comfortable in my own skin, I put a little more effort into choosing my outfits, I think about what my clothes will stay about me. Although I love brand names they’re not really me, plus I can’t justify breaking the bank for a new pair of jeans. By the same token, I can feel my style changing, I notice when I’m pulling something out of my closet that I haven’t worn in years or buying something I probably wouldn’t have chosen even a year ago.

I can see that I’m changing and I feel more confident in the clothes that I wear. All of these changes are going a little bit deeper though, a little below the surface. I’m not sure if I’m finally accepting who I am or if I’m really changing but I speak differently, I think differently, I write differently, and I don’t get offended as easily. I have never felt this…well… great about who I am, who I’m becoming. I’m slowly becoming less afraid, I’m slowly taking chances, I’m slowly accepting my mistakes, and I’m not ashamed to make some new ones. It’s not just the clothes or the conscious effort I’m putting into it, it’s everything and everyone around me as well. It’s the fact that I’m growing up and that I’m starting to understand what I want out of life and who I want to be apart of it. 

I never knew how good it would feel to finally become Myself.

Love Always

Vanessa Xo