After a particularly stressful week, I found myself in the Country Style parking lot bursting with tears. I went through the drive through for my Thursday morning pick-me-up and ordered a dark roast regular while trying to wipe away my tears. The woman who served me my coffee was taken aback and curious, which only made me cry harder. Alice in Wonderland could not compare with the state of emergency my car was in. It took over twenty minutes for the tears to cease, for me to feel empty and ready to drive away.
The ebbs and flows of life never seize to amaze me. One minute you’re working at a pizza place with all the time in the world to pursue your passion, the next, you’re not. One minute you’re trying to figure out your next move, the next you’ve purchased a condo, gotten engaged, and started a new job. One minute your back-up job is waiting for you, the next it’s closed down. That much change in so little time left me with no opportunity to completely digest. All of these good things, new experiences, and hearty planning had me feeling more overwhelmed than I realized.
I know that all of these things are wonderful, exciting, and necessary. I’m equally excited and stressed about all of them. I know that they are moments worth celebrating, moments that I will never forget. I know that all of those tears were a mix of a million different emotions climaxing at the less-than-perfect time of the month.
I know that each week is a fresh start and I can certainly *cheers to that!
Every single time I head downtown I can feel my eyes open a little wider, my heart pound with excitement, and my mind expand with wonder. Saturday was the perfect day to walk around Queen West — the sun shone brightly, the air was fresh and crisp, and yet incredibly warm.
The day started out with choosing a random restaurant for lunch — which turned out to have the best chicken panini I’ve ever had, complimented by the smoothest, richest, cup of coffee IN THE WORLD. After lunch we walked into every vintage clothing and furniture store we saw. One store was a rare beauty, with a dank musky stench that crawled up your nostrils and died. There were suitcases piled upon suitcases, typewriters, cameras, microphones, old photos of unknown people, and keys from a letterpress, all piled on top of each other. The cramped store was a sight for sore eyes but magical just the same and filled with so many stories. I smiled at the angry-looking store owner and complimented his inventory on the way out, I was feeling pretty good about it too, until I saw a handwritten sign that said ADMIRATION DOESN’T PAY THE BILLS.
After walking all of Queen Street West and strolling through Kensington Market, I realized two things:
A: my feet hurt
B: Toronto makes me feel confident, curious, and alive.
Walking around with my head held high, a coffee in one hand and a great friend by my side, I saw the CN Tower outlined by a bright blue sky and I thought — this will be my home.
To the bf, sing me this to me every morning…
…if you can do that I will make you instant coffee and burnt toast for breakfast, fair? Fair.
I’ve heard that song about a million times this week and its sweet simple melody and lyrics make me happy. Hopefully it’ll put a smile on your face today – it IS FRIDAY after all, you should be SMILING! I don’t think people smile enough. Why can’t it be contagious like yawning?
P.S. I wrote a little post for Roots Canada this week that should be going up on their blog. I’ll let you know when that happens XO