When Petals Fall


From Flowers For website

Can you recall the exact moment you saw a flower petal fall? I do. I was sitting at the dining room table, writing away as the sun spilled onto my page. I heard it before I saw it, a tiny crack that demanded my peripheries to pay attention. It fell with a slow determined grace, as if it chose that moment to fall. By the time I turned my head, it was already bathing beautifully in the sunlight. As I looked at it I was thankful for the gentle reminder that there is a certain elegance to falling (or failing). For it creates vast opportunities for growth, change, and thoughts anew.

“What is so marvelous about living today is that it is possible to extend, like a flower, spreading petals in all directions.”
Carolyn Kizer

Love Always,

Vanessa Xo


A Weekend Mantra [brought to you in part by Beuller and a customer at work]


You kids are too complicated with your gadgets and sharing everything. One day you’ll realize that life is flying right by you.

I don’t know if it’s actually the gadgets and countless hours we spend online or if life has always been a whirlwind of long days and short years, but time really does fly. I’ve been writing my “sequel” to My Pen, My Voice and I’m finding it difficult to recall major milestones, anecdotes, or funny stories from the day I turned twenty-five until this very moment. I’ve had to look through my journals and my blog posts to help me remember what I was doing and how it made me feel. It seems like everything happens so fast that I barely have time to process it as it’s happening, perhaps that is why I feel the compulsion to write it all down. The good, the bad, and everything in between.

I’m coming to the end of YEAR 25 of my life (my birthday is in two months) and I hope that in year 26 I can slow things down a little bit. I want progress, change, and to continue to create, I just want to feel like it’s okay to sit back and enjoy it. I refuse to go through another year and think so what exactly did I do last year?

From Giphy

From Giphy

The only plan I have for this weekend is to keep my social media and cellphone use to a minimum and to enjoy each moment. Amazing things happen every day, if you choose to see them

Love Always,

Vanessa Xo

stop dickering around.


I LOVE spending Sundays in Toronto, well in all honesty I love ANYTIME in Toronto. With every corner you turn you can see something new. It’s my kind of bliss — tiny adventures a block at a time. Yesterday afternoon I went to Gusto 101 with the bf and cousins. We sat on the patio and were pummelled with sunshine — it felt great. I had the burger and a glass of their white wine that’s on tap ($1 an ounce!) my mouth is still salivating. Whenever I’m in the city I tend to think big thoughts, dream big dreams. Everything about Toronto is so much BIGGER and FASTER than anything in Bolton.

This is how it is, you’re stagnant for so long and then all of a sudden everything happens at once. All of a sudden your dreams shift and mould into something completely different. All of a sudden life is catching up to you and you can’t seem to understand how quickly you turned twenty-five. You feel like you were nineteen last week instead of six years ago. All of a sudden every single choice you make has an immediate result and impact on your life. All of a sudden you’ve got to stop dickering around and grow the eff up.

IMG_7942I’m not the type to dick around. I want different things than I wanted last year and I’ve got to work hard in order to get them. Patience is a virtue but persistence is a necessity. Changes are immediate, with no end in sight. I don’t want to press pause, rewind, or even fast forward because I’m enjoying the uncertainty of my life right now. My story is just getting interesting…



Can I just get your stamp of approval? Please?!


I am an approval seeker.

No matter what decision I make I need to have someone in my corner, whether it be my parents, siblings, best friends, or the bf – I have to run whatever I’m thinking about by someone. I rarely make a decision based on my own rationale, I need another person’s opinion and I need their stamp of approval.

tumblr_lqs0lrkm4F1r21cyxo2_500_largeIt’s kind of sad isn’t it? Why do I need it? Is it so that I’ll have a scapegoat if things go wrong? Is it because I’m afraid of the responsibility of making my own life choices? I have no idea. All I know is that my way of doing things is very limiting – it makes you feel kind of claustrophobic.

Attention must be paid and changes must be made.

Love Always
Vanessa Xo

Best Medicine

Family Time, Just for Fun, Lifestyle/Personal

“If laughter is the best medicine, then this weekend cured me of all that ailed me.”

This weekend I hosted my sister’s bachelorette party and I have to admit that I had an amazing time! It’s not very often that you get 20 women in a room and they ALL get along!

Friday night mission to Wal-Mart - time to prep!

Making cakes after a long day of work!

Limo full of ladies!
Thanks Diamond LIMOS!

The beautiful bride-to-be ready for some belly dancinnnn!

All the ladies upon arriving at FLIRTY GIRL FITNESS...

... I wasn't included in that last picture.

After our hour of belly dancing!
Good times ladies 😉

After dancing it was time for pizza, drinks, games, and CAKE!!
I helped make them!

A few drinks and a game of Kings later - Vanessa is ready for sleep.

As you can probably tell, I spent the entire weekend at my sister’s house and I can’t explain how surreal it was. On Friday we went to Wal-Mart and did all of the prep work for the next day. While icing the penis cakes, I found myself thinking “Wow, I’m icing cakes for my sister’s bachelorette… in her house!”

And then this happened…

It was really amazing to hang out with my sister all weekend but now that the bachelorette is over, I realize that she is getting married in only two weeks and six days! WHERE DID THIS YEAR GO?! I could’ve sworn that I was just helping Richard pull off the-best-proposal-ever and now it’s almost time for me to write my wedding speech, help my sister move out of my parent’s house, and watch her walk down the aisle.

WTF! Time, can you please slow down a little?

I think I should stop this post now, before the waterworks begin. But first I’d like to thank all of the ladies who attended the bachelorette for making it an amazing experience! I cannot put into words how much you all made me laugh and how great it was to spend the weekend with all of you! Thank you for being there for my sister and for being good sports when the dance instructor said we were AMAZING and HOT – even though we knew she was lying ;). And thanks for teaching me how to play KINGS, you all have great singing voices :P. With all that said, I’m sure Jessica appreciates it even more so than I do – so thanks!

And Jess, thanks for trusting me to plan such an epic party! I love you and we will have more sister-bonding-sleepover weekends soon!

Hope you all had a great weekend and a happy Monday!

Love Always
Vanessa Xo