Yesterday was the perfect Fall day, 16 degrees with beaming sunshine and a cool breeze. It was also a perfect day in general because it was finally the day of a book event I booked tickets for over a month ago. This wasn’t just any book event — LENA DUNHAM IN CONVERSATION at the Appel Salon.
I headed to the city with the same ferocious anxiety and excitement I always get when heading to events, but this time it doubled (I haven’t felt like this since I met Jowita Bydlowska). I was actually going to meet Lena Dunham. I would be able to tell her how much her book meant to me, how my writing has changed since reading it, and how much I admire her… if I could get the words out of course.
After hours of waiting (okay it was only two and my mom and I got a glass of wine so it wasn’t so bad), Lena finally arrived. With newly dyed green hair, a gray bedazzled blazer, sparkly flats, and an infectious smile, Lena took the stage and read a chapter from Not That Kind of Girl. There’s nothing more exciting than hearing words that you love spoken by the author of the book. When she finished reading, she sat down for a chat with Johanna Schneller.
Lena is extremely smart, confident, and funny. With poise and conviction she talked about anxiety as a mental disorder, Girls, love, her relationship with the late Nora Ephron, body image, and her reason for writing. She said that she uses writing to connect with people and feel normal, to get to know herself. When it came to discussing personal essays written by women she said that in our culture there’s something threatening about women telling their stories without remorse, and she hopes to help change that. When asked about why she leaves her writing and her book so open-ended she was humble enough to admit that she’s still growing and changing, all she wants to do was share the little bit of knowledge that she has right now.
When sitting in a room of over 500 people it’s hard to imagine that you’ll connect with a person on a stage sitting eight feet away from you. But I did. Lena spoke to all of us like we were her girlfriends, like we were sitting down in our pyjamas, eating pizza and chips, talking about the most important issues facing our culture, and not being ashamed for any of it. I felt connected to the women and men around me, some of which were probably writers too. Lena opened our minds and our hearts, leaving us in awe and in stitches.
When the time came to get my book signed by Lena, I was shaking. Everything I practiced saying to her flew out of my head and probably landed into someone else’s. It turns out that I yapped and hand-talked for almost a minute, but Lena was sweet and compassionate. She’s either a really great actress or she was genuinely touched by how much her book meant to me (I truly believe it was the latter).
Although I “learned” a lot from Lena last night, one thing that my mind keeps repeating is:
“It’s not nice to talk shit about yourself all of the time.”