Restlessness

Lifestyle/Personal

321285_5906191_b_large“All her life…had been building up to something. She felt it as a bubbling restlessness inside her, a straightness along her spine that occasionally came across as terseness, but which she did not really intend. She was of the opinion that one really ought to do something with one’s life, especially if they had the necessary resources, but she had not yet fixed upon what this should be.” – The Opposite of Falling

I’ve been fidgeting uncontrollably for the past week. My stomach has knots and my heart is fluttering. I must always be doing something or I’m simply wasting my time but I can’t sit still long enough to get out a decent paragraph, an educated thought, a purposeful plan.

My dad tells me to be patient, my mom asks me to relax, my boyfriend is convinced I’m going to give myself an anxiety attack. I just want to do something and to relax long enough to focus. Damn this restless heart, this anxious soul, and these twitching legs that just want to run.

Love Always 

Vanessa Xo

Shh shh shh… it’s the winds of change

Categories, Just for Fun, Toronto Adventures

 

Reading Not A Model’s latest blog post about change has really got me thinking about how I deal with change. Let me start by saying I’ve had the same job since I was sixteen, I didn’t live on residence during university, and the biggest changes in my life are simply a result of someone else’s decision (i.e. my sister getting married and moving out).

Not A Model’s biggest fear in change is the before; just the hint of the thought of change nauseates me. Changing my blog’s appearance or its content, changing my style or the frames of my glasses, changing the paint that covers my bedroom walls, or the colour of polish shining on my nails – I don’t even think twice. Thinking about applying for a job in a faraway city, or renting a place downtown and living on my own, or even taking a solo trip to New York leaves me breathless. No really, I am hyperventilating as I write this. So it would seem that only completely life-altering changes scare me… at least I’ve narrowed it down? 

And now it’s written, my greatest fear is forever on the Internet for you to see.

I can’t let it haunt me – I need to make a change.

Love Always
Vanessa Xo

Shh shh shh… it's the winds of change

Categories, Just for Fun, Toronto Adventures

 

Reading Not A Model’s latest blog post about change has really got me thinking about how I deal with change. Let me start by saying I’ve had the same job since I was sixteen, I didn’t live on residence during university, and the biggest changes in my life are simply a result of someone else’s decision (i.e. my sister getting married and moving out).

Not A Model’s biggest fear in change is the before; just the hint of the thought of change nauseates me. Changing my blog’s appearance or its content, changing my style or the frames of my glasses, changing the paint that covers my bedroom walls, or the colour of polish shining on my nails – I don’t even think twice. Thinking about applying for a job in a faraway city, or renting a place downtown and living on my own, or even taking a solo trip to New York leaves me breathless. No really, I am hyperventilating as I write this. So it would seem that only completely life-altering changes scare me… at least I’ve narrowed it down? 

And now it’s written, my greatest fear is forever on the Internet for you to see.

I can’t let it haunt me – I need to make a change.

Love Always
Vanessa Xo