Bursting the Bubble, Lifestyle/Personal, Uncategorized

Turn Up the Good – Weekend Bliss

 
Instead of writing non-stop this weekend, I walked. I explored, drove, ate, and laughed. I went to Toronto and to Hamilton. I bustled around a Christmas Market and nearly peed myself at a comedy show (Jim Jefferies is one gifted storyteller). I took selfies and talked about politics. I visited my old bosses and reminisced my heart out. 

I felt blissfully light and optimistic while I dreamed about the future. I’ve been trying to picture, as well as, plan my next step. A tiny piece of me wants to go back to school – I miss learning and expanding my brain creatively.  Some days being twenty-six makes me feel old and stuck, other days  I feel young and my gut knows that change is imminent.

“Change is the end result of all true learning.”  – Leo Buscaglia

  
  
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Xoxo,

Vanessa

Bursting the Bubble, Lifestyle/Personal

When You Push Love Away

When I get angry or frustrated or sad or scared I push people away. I refrain from kisses, hugs, and handholding. I know, that’s insane. I don’t know why I do it when I can see how much it hurts those around me. When I push people away I end up falling deeper into my own angst, unable to find a way out. It’s baffling how similar pain is to quicksand.

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When you push love away, it becomes eminent how much you need it.

Let yourself need it.

Let yourself embrace it; let it fix you.

Love Always,

Vanessa Xo

Bursting the Bubble, Lifestyle/Personal

Tears in the Parking Lot of a Coffee Shop

After a particularly stressful week, I found myself in the Country Style parking lot bursting with tears. I went through the drive through for my Thursday morning pick-me-up and ordered a dark roast regular while trying to wipe away my tears. The woman who served me my coffee was taken aback and curious, which only made me cry harder. Alice in Wonderland could not compare with the state of emergency my car was in. It took over twenty minutes for the tears to cease, for me to feel empty and ready to drive away.

The ebbs and flows of life never seize to amaze me. One minute you’re working at a pizza place with all the time in the world to pursue your passion, the next, you’re not. One minute you’re trying to figure out your next move, the next you’ve purchased a condo, gotten engaged, and started a new job. One minute your back-up job is waiting for you, the next it’s closed down. That much change in so little time left me with no opportunity to completely digest. All of these good things, new experiences, and hearty planning had me feeling more overwhelmed than I realized.

I know that all of these things are wonderful, exciting, and necessary. I’m equally excited and stressed about all of them. I know that they are moments worth celebrating, moments that I will never forget. I know that all of those tears were a mix of a million different emotions climaxing at the less-than-perfect time of the month.

I know that each week is a fresh start and I can certainly *cheers to that!

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Love Always,

Vanessa Xo

Bursting the Bubble, Lifestyle/Personal

What is Happy?

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I had a thought yesterday and it created another thought, which rolled into another, and then into a labyrinth of the best thoughts that could be thunk. But then the phone rang. POOF! Gone. My life has become a series of cycles; planning, researching, working, budgeting.

Apparently that is what growing up is all about. On my drive to work I often think about happiness, I look at the person in the car next to me and wonder if they’re happy. I wonder if they like their job, if they’re passionate about what they do. I imagine what their home-life, love-life, and hobbies are. I wonder, what is happy?

My happy comes in the form of moments. My niece’s smile, a perfectly written sentence, my fiance’s hand reaching for mine, a drive up north, having dinner with my family, crying over a character in a book, saying something smart or witty enough to evoke laughter from someone. My happy comes from something more than 9-5, although I do leave the office feeling accomplished and useful, my life will always be about more than that.

That is my happy. What’s yours?

Love Always,

Vanessa Xo

Bursting the Bubble, Lifestyle/Personal

 Goodbye Gourmet Pizza [ A Letter ]

  

 

On Wednesday evening, I got word that Caruso Gourmet Pizza locked its heavy black doors for good. Caruso Gourmet Pizza was many things to many people; an excuse to forgo their diet for one night, a place to relax over a cup of coffee with friends, a Friday lunchtime tradition with coworkers, and even a daily stop on the morning commute for the best cappuccino in town.

To me, Caruso’s was a second home. I first started working there at the age of sixteen, when they were located in a tiny shop on the second floor of a complex. In the ten years I worked there, I learned more about life, responsibility, and customer service than I thought possible. I made incredible friendships with coworkers and lasting relationships with the regulars.

Somewhere a long the line my bosses, Domenic and Dina Caruso, became a third set of grandparents to me. I talked to them openly about my life, my dreams, and my passions. Equally, I complained about my life, my dreams, and my passions. They always listened to me fully and gave me advice without hesitation. Dom and I spoke daily about books, writing, and even current events. He’d tell me story after story and more often than not, I’d leave for the day feeling inspired and ready to write.

In fairness, I’m not THAT special; Domenic and Dina had incredible relationships with every single one of their customers. During a busy lunch or dinner rush, they always made time to chat with a customer, or shake hands with a friend. Not to mention sending me from table to table with complimentary espressos in hand. To many, the building was much more than a place to eat;  it was a place to be among friends.

I am truly saddened by the closure of such a wonderful establishment. Caruso’s is a huge part of Bolton’s history, culture, and identity. I will miss the warmth of the ovens, the delicious pizza, and having a second place to call home.

Here’s is my heartfelt thank you to Domenic and Dina Caruso, for everything you’ve done for me personally, for everything you’ve done for this town, and for keeping the Bolton youth employed and on the right track. I wish you the best of luck and hope you can finally have some time for yourselves, you deserve it.

Love Always,
Vanessa Xo
Bursting the Bubble, Lifestyle/Personal

Looking Back to Move Forward

Photo from Ultralinx
Photo from Ultralinx

When I was younger I was against looking back; moving forward meant forgetting the past. Yesterday as I went through my various memory boxes and packed up my old notebooks, I realized that sometimes the only way to know how to move forward is by looking back.

Relationships are quickly put into perspective as memories jump out of photos and leap off of letters. Reminders of who you were and how far you’ve come smile at you like an old friend. Suddenly your entire world expands and everything makes sense, including the hard times you couldn’t control, the hard times that you created, and even the good times you didn’t think could be beat.

“Taking time to look back, is a foundation on course to build a stable future.”
Unarine Ramaru

Here’s to a brand new week of a brand new month. Remember that you can face anything that this week throws your way. Remember to start and end each day with a smile. Remember to love.

Love Always,

Vanessa Xo

 

Bursting the Bubble, Lifestyle/Personal, Products and Brands

The Rise of Self-Love

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I received a press-release recently about Triumph’s Beauty-Full collection. I don’t purchase underwear or lingerie all that often, so this press release fell short for me in actually purchasing anything from Triumph. What didn’t get lost on me was the fact that sometime in the last year or so, the definition of beauty has changed from being thin to being in love with your skin.

I love how little I hear about wanting to be skinny, about losing weight. I love that it’s more about being healthy and eating the right food. I love that there are women out there like the owners of The Store On Queen who emulate health, confidence, and beauty regardless of weight or size. I love that celebrities like Kelly Clarkson, Demi Lovato, Pink, Selena Gomez, Lady Gaga, and Lena Dunham are dismissing body-shamers and spreading love, light, and self-worth.

I love that my generation and the younger generation (from what my narrow little brown eyes have seen) have snubbed the notion that being thin is equivalent to being beautiful. I love going to the mall and seeing young women of all shapes and sizes trying on clothes and walking around with their heads held high. I know that there are tonnes of wicked and sad things going on in the world, but I also know that good things will only happen if we build ourselves up rather than cut ourselves down.

“To lose confidence in one’s body is to lose confidence in oneself.”  ― Simone de Beauvoir

Love Always,

Vanessa Xo

*Photo from: Lotus Leaf*