I had a package waiting for me when I got home from a walk the other night. It was a gift from a fellow writer (VANESSA SHIELDS). A book to help guide me in the right direction. A book to help pin-point my desires, my dreams, and the way I want to feel. Needless to say, I started reading it the second I got it out of the packaging. I don’t normally read self-help books or books that require me to plan out or question my life with such tenacity but I must admit I already feel more at ease. I made a list of the way I want to feel and added in little things to help me feel that way.
CREATIVE – write 500 words a day towards a new novel (totally doable)
CONNECTED – put away my cellphone when I’m with someone (necessary for sanity and the sake of my relationships)
SPONTANEOUS – stop planning every minute of every single day (also necessary or else I’ll go crazy)
CONFIDENT/SEXY – look at myself in the mirror and remember the things I like about myself (a little harder to do but not impossible)
I’m looking at my life from an entirely different perspective and am totally willing to let go expectations. Expectations about careers AND the people in my life. All of those expectations that were thrust upon me and all of the ones I have for myself. It’s not easy to liberate yourself from expectations, it’s a struggle every single day. The kind of struggle that turns into a mantra until your breathing slows down and you feel a little calmer. I understand that expectations can be a fuel to reach your potential but they can also be ticking-time-bombs. If you’re doing something just because you think you have to, are you really living your own life?
“If you spent your life concentrating on what everyone else thought of you, would you forget who you really were? What if the face you showed the world turned out to be a mask… with nothing beneath it?”
― Jodi Picoult, Nineteen Minutes