how to feel less (a)lone(ly)

Don’t you just love how to posts? Especially ones that ensure that if you follow all 5/10/25 steps you’ll be happier/smarter/techier/the best blogger ever/hired? I love them too, they’re one of my guilty pleasures because even just thinking about doing those things makes me feel that much better/happier/whatever-er. It is rare that I put those thoughts into action but I’m going to try to make an effort to do so, even if some lists are lame.

Based on recent experience I wanted to share my own how to list. As in HOW TO FEEL LESS (a)LONE(ly). This is easier said than done and there are many exceptions to every how to list but alas, here it is:

1. GO OUT AND TALK TO PEOPLE. PEOPLE NEED PEOPLE/ISLANDS ARE BORING. CONNECT WITH PEOPLE THROUGH CONVERSATION (FACE-TO-FACE NOT VIA EMAIL). IF SEEING IS BELIEVING THEN YOU SHOULD PROBABLY SEE YOUR FRIENDS INSTEAD OF JUST BELIEVING THAT THEY ARE STILL IN YOUR LIFE.

photo 1

2. DON’T FEAR SOLITUDE. DON’T FEAR BEING ALONE. JUST FIND SOMETHING YOU LOVE TO DO AND DO IT. FOLLOW YOUR PASSIONS. YOU’LL FEEL FULFILLED, CREATIVE, AND ALIVE. LEARN HOW TO LOVE LOVE AND ALL THAT IT REPRESENTS.

photo 4 photo 3

3. IF THAT DOESN’T WORK, SURROUND YOURSELF WITH BOOKS. ENTER A NEW WORLD AND MEET “NEW PEOPLE”. THIS IS JUST A BACK UP THOUGH. TRY NUMBER ONE AND TWO OVER AND OVER UNTIL YOU FEEL LIKE A HUMAN BEING AGAIN.

photo 2This process may not work for you. I know that we all go through phases where we just want to be alone, where we don’t want to talk to anyone, where we just want to disconnect and run away from the world. Constant attachment to our phones and social media require us to have a tech-detox every once in a while but that doesn’t necessarily mean we need to stop connecting with people. Maybe you’re not sick of people, maybe you’re just sick of the way you connect with them. It’s so easy to feel lonely when the only form of communication you have with your bestie/boyfriend/sister is through text message, Facebook, Twitter, or Instagram. It’s too easy to lose focus on your life, to envy the lives of other people when you soak up all of their social media posts. There’s no need for that. There is no need to hide from the world just because you think others are living a better life than you — Instagram ain’t the whole story.

Wait? Am I rambling. Yes. Okay… what was I saying? Oh yeah. Stop pushing people away, stop “liking” photos and start making memories. Tell someone in person how much you loved their photos from their trip (or better yet ask them to coffee and see the photos in person, maybe even hear about all of the moments that  they can’t share in a photo).

Feeling lonely? Stop hiding. Start living. 

“being alone never felt right. sometimes it felt good, but it never felt right.”
― Charles BukowskiWomen

“The only time we waste is the time we spend thinking we are alone.”
― Mitch AlbomThe Five People You Meet in Heaven – Meniti Bianglala

Talk soon,

Vanessa Xo

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