By “IT” I mean the Internet. I mean the hours I spend online or on my phone tweeting, updating my Facebook status, and scrolling through an endless amount of Instagram photos. Sometimes I sit and stare at a blank WordPress post and wonder: should I write about this? Do people care? Why should they? Do I WANT to share this? Sometimes my blogging seems so vain, who really cares what is going on in the life of Vanessa Grillone? Sometimes I just want to shut it all down, log out of everything, go outside and read a book, or take a trip without feeling the need to document it. I remember what it was like to not have the Internet, to not have my phone attached to me. I actually wrote, in notebooks, every single day. I wrote stories. I created worlds. I wrote — probably better than I do now. I had time to feel things, to let my emotions take over, to think about things and write them down instead of tweeting it 3.5 seconds after it occurred. Sometimes I think the Internet is too fast for me. It gives me this anxious sort of high, like I’m hyper all the time. Remember when riding your bike gave you that same kind of high?
But wait, I like documenting. It feels good to get a comment on a post, or a Retweet, or a “Like” on one of my photos. I like it. Don’t you?
I’ve read articles that state how social media and constant online presence can hinder your emotional state. It can actually depress you. I’m not depressed by the Internet or social media or my constant use of it, I’m just at the point of wondering, what else is out there? I don’t plan on not posting anymore, I don’t plan on cancelling my Twitter or deleting my Instagram account but I think I might take a little INTER-WEB DETOX once in a while.
Sometimes it just gets to be too much for me.