My drug and my vice.

Just for Fun, Lifestyle/Personal, Restaurant Reviews

I’ve never been one to do certain things alone, like go out for a meal or to a cafe to read. Yesterday I decided to give it a whirl. I went to my work, Caruso Gourmet Pizza, ordered a minestrone soup and took out my copy of The Diary of Anaïs Nin 1931-1934.

This is the half-eaten version of my soup. It also came with toasted bread and oil and vinegar to dip it in -- SO GOOD.

This is the half-eaten version of my soup. It also came with toasted bread and oil and vinegar to dip it in — SO GOOD.

I sat in the sweet silence of my own bubble and read and ate to my heart’s content. The soup warmed me, fueled me, nurtured me. The words of Anaïs Nin inspired me, moved me, woke me up.

“This diary is my kief, hashish, and opium pipe. This is my drug and my vice. Instead of writing a novel, I lie back with this book and a pen, and dream, and indulge in refractions and defractions… I must relive my life in this dream. This dream is my only life.” (ix)

Her words are so smooth, simple, and silky. She writes in a way that I only hope I aspire to. My pen is my vice, my diary (and my extension this blog) is my drug — Anaïs Nin took the words right out of my mouth. That is all I thought about after finishing the introduction of her book, realizing that I had spent more than 45 minutes eating and reading, alone. I had eaten slowly and consciously. I enjoyed every morsel of my food. I read with purpose and I felt the words come alive within me.

When I finally went on my way, with a coffee in hand, I drove slowly and looked around. I absorbed the pastel blue sky and watched it being chased by the slow-moving, soft clouds. In fact everything around me looked soft. The snow looked like velvet — touchable. The dead and thorny trees somehow even looked friendly to me.

And then I realized … I should probably keep my eyes on the road…

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Oh, but what a wonderful way to spend a Saturday afternoon.

I felt refreshed, light, focussed, and prepared to see and appreciate the world around me. 

When I reached my destination I took out my pen and my pink Moleskin, and wrote about it…

Love Always

Vanessa Xo

3 thoughts on “My drug and my vice.

  1. Beautifully spoken (I mean…written!). I enjoy going out to eat on my own with a good book or my trusty pen and paper. A little people watching, a little solitude…I dig it.

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